Mr. Wolfdog Teaches You to Dominate the Competition With a Giant, Honking Computer [VIDEO]

April 1st is a day for jokes and laughter. Therefore, we thought we’d lighten the mood and consult the funniest and the furriest CEO we know for computer advice; that’s right, Old Spice’s wolf-dog hybrid, Mr. Wolfdog!

If you’ve not been properly introduced to Mr. Wolfdog, then we recommend taking a minute to watch his first video, “Meet Mr. Wolfdog.” Because without context, having a large canine provide business advice via a “patent-pending” electronic voice collar that translates Wolfdog communication into English, makes absolutely no sense at all.

How to Operate Computers Successfully for Business Leaders of Tomorrow Today
As it turns out, Mr. Wolfdog has quite the business acumen, which he generously shares in his self-produced videos “Director Wolfdog’s How-to Video Series.” Our favorite has to be his training video about computers in the workplace. Check it out:

“Get a giant honking computer masterpiece.”
In the wild, bigger is better. Size ensures your place at the top of the food chain. After all, few species are going to want to tangle with an animal twice their size. When Mr. Wolfdog applies the natural order of things to the office, he comes to a hilarious conclusion: small and puny mobile devices should be immediately swapped out for the large, beige machines of days gone by. After all, using large computers is a guaranteed way to ensure success.

Computerware disclaimer: even though this makes sense, using outdated equipment to get work done is NOT a best practice. In reality, using old computers will actually set your business back.

“Because turning on a computer is the most dangerous thing you’ll ever do.”
Granted, there’s a slight danger of electrocution from working with computers if you pop open the case and mess with its components. However, we can say with confidence that turning on a computer presents little-to-no danger, and it certainly doesn’t warrant putting on two layers of gloves. Also, you shouldn’t poke a computer with a stick (duh). If you do happen to take on a computer repair job requiring you swap out parts and put yourself at risk, we recommend that you consult the trained IT professionals at Computerware.

“Then, slap your fingers across the keyboard in a rapid fashion. It doesn’t matter what you type, you just made money.”
Obviously, if you furiously type your keyboard and click on everything, you’re going to mess something up. This is the complete opposite of making money because you’ll wind up having to pay money to fix something, or perhaps deleting some important files. Although, Mr. Wolfdog is on to something in regards to working harder and faster generally leading to more productivity. However, when working with computers, the old adage is true “work smarter, not harder.”

“Quickly open every application on your computer and type into all of them at the same time. This will cause your computer to smoke.”
Actually, it’s extremely unlikely for a computer to be pushed so hard that smoke will billow out of it. While overheating is a real risk for an overworked PC, computer manufacturers have put hardware and software limitations in place to prevent the machines from catching fire. Typically, a PC will freeze up and crash before it begins to smoke.

Computerware disclaimer: a PC with smoke coming out of it is not a good sign, and your superiors won’t be impressed by it. In the unlikely event that you happen to see smoke coming out your computer, be sure to immediately unplug it, open a window, and give Computerware a call at (703) 821-8200. Also, if your computer is showing signs of being overworked (like it being slow and unresponsive), then you’re going to want to take action now in order to prevent a crash in the future. Try rebooting your machine, and if that doesn’t work, have an IT technician take a look and diagnose the problem.

“Now you can use computers to do anything, like play video games or print out important business emails.”
Yes, you can use computers for most anything, like playing video games and printing out a business email “with just a hot dog with some mustard on it that says ‘CAKE NUMBERS.’” However, as a business owner, you want your computers to be used for making money, not ridiculous printouts. To that end, Computerware knows how to best leverage technology so that your business can make money, as well as save money. We can equip your organization with the solutions you need, like perhaps a “patent-pending” electronic voice collar?

For more entertaining Wolfdog business videos, check out this YouTube playlist!